I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
