Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
