What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
