why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
