What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
