they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
