he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am available for nakedness
You were trust falling into bushes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
