Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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