Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
