problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize