there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
