Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
