There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
