There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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