I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Randomize
