Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
