Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
