Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize