if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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