just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
