so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I am one with the molecules
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
