so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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