Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
