Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize