You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
