I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
