just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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