your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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