5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
