Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
