Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
