your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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