So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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