No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
