Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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