he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize