I've blown a few things in my day
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
