He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I supernannyed him into submission
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
