If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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