i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize