so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
