I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
