Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
