If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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