Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
