he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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