There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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