Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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