So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
