Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
