Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
