You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize