My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
