Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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