I murdered the dance floor call the cops
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
