Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
