I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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