bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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