Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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