you guys were way drunker than both of me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
