i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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